Up early...

Had to get up early this morning to wait for the gas man. So I was up at 10:30 and I sat out at the picnic table until about 12:30. I went through a whole pot of coffee, and I was losing the shade. So I went back inside. Well, wouldn't you know, he showed up about 10 min. later. So after that I went back upstairs to see if I could get a little more sleep, but I didn't get much. By this time the heat and humidity are picking up so my pillow kept getting wet from the sweat on my head. That and I think there is something about the pillow, every time my head hits it , my mind starts racing. But more about that later.

After my little nap, we all went to Aunt Janet's so I could take a look at her computer for her. She called me this past weekend and told me that she saw smoke coming out of it and unplugged it. I told her that it was probably the power supply, and it should be easy to fix. Sure enough, it was a faulty power supply. After a brief struggle locating a replacement, it was up and running in no time.

By this time I had barely time to get a quick shower, and head off to work. I saw Lissa Lissa at Texaco and talked to her for a little bit. Then I saw Michelle, and talked to her for a little bit. By the time I got to work, I was 15min. late. I HATE being late.

As for the things that keep me up at night, I still don't know what to do. The things I see her doing make me feel good about the relationship. They make me see that there is hope. But it is the things that I don't see that keep me up at night.

I don't see her doing anything to rebuild the trust. She has NEVER told me anything that I hadn't already found out on my own. I know for a fact that if I hadn't found out about the phone calls and the visit, she would not have told me (weather she saw him or not, she still tried to keep it from me). That is the hardest thing to get over. I'm trying to get over it, but I have nothing to go on. All these months after this hell started, she is still keeping things from me.