Spent the day at the beach...

We all went down to Silver Sands today. Everyone except Brad had a great time. Brad jumped out of the van, right on a beer bottle and cut the bottom of his foot. So he was sentances to a day in the sand rather than the water. He still managed to have a pretty good time. He walked almost all the way out to Charles Island on the sandbar. Jake and Alex had a great time looking for hermit crabs. They had quite the collection by day's end. Casandra and Gina had fun at the waters edge. They would pick a spot and wait for the tide to come in and cover them. Casandra was also covering herself with sand all day. Got a good picture of her with my phone. Deb and I spent most of the time wading in the tidal pools looking for shells and whatever else caught our eye.

Well.....Today was the first annavirsary of my fathers death. To tell the truth, I didn't really think of it much. It never really bothered me today the way his birthday did. I think I just had too many other things on my mind.

The pain in my heart got a little sharper tonight. I looked at her blog and saw that she sees my pain as me not being able to get over it. And basicly, that she was not going to do what I need. I kind of expected this. I had a feeling that she didn't want to cut all ties to him. That would mean that there was no hope of ever getting back together with him. So instead she wants me to just trust that her heart is here.

So I guess I just have to sit here with the knife still sticking out of my back and SMILE!!!