I hate Mondays

Because of my new work schedule, Mondays feel like a very long day. They actually stretch out and effect three days. I work 3rd shift now. That means that my Monday actually starts on Sunday night. The problem with that is that I can never sleep in on Sunday morning. So I wake up too early and go about my day. Then when it feels like it's time for bed, It's really time to go to work. But it doesn't stop there. After working an 8 hour shift, I go home to sleep and get up to go to the car wash. Then when I'm done at the car wash I have only two hours to spend with my family, and then It's back to work again. By the time what feels like Monday, is over, it's actually Tuesday morning. But enough of that.....

The one thing Mondays give me more than anything else is time to think. Today I was thinking about the talk we had the other night. And I started to think that I ruined it. I started asking for what we talked about back on May 7th I think. It was the very first post in this blog. I wanted to tell her tonight on the phone to forget all about what we talked about. It won't work.

It won't work because she doesn't want to do it. If she does it it will be because I asked her to. Not because it is something that she wants. I don't know what to do. I need to know that she chooses me, but if she does something just because I told her to, that doesn't prove anything. She could have done something back in May. She could have done something in June. Hell, She could have even done something in July. But she didn't.