Long Talk

We had a long talk last night. Mostly we just seem to go around in circles, saying the same things to each other over and over. But I think I was able to make it known to her that I can not continue without some proof. I have been lied to far to many times to take anything on faith any more. It hurts me just to type it in here, but it is true. I told her that her efforts (more affection and loving kindness) have NOT gone unnoticed. And they have NOT been useless. They do a lot of good, but I have no solid footing to rest on yet. Once I have that then the efforts she has been using will work that much more.

Another thing that bothers me A LOT, is all of the little keepsakes and mementos that she has stashed around the house. Love notes, pictures, gifts and such. Why does she need them. What will they reminder her of other than the pain we are feeling now. It would do my heart good if she would come to me and ask me to build a fire in the grill, and bring me ALL of them so WE can destroy them together. This would by no means be a replacement of the proof that I need, but I can't hurt. I'm so low now, I am willing to try anything.

Hopefully she will have some good news for me tomorrow.