Drooling vegetable

Today, most of my thoughts were with the message I got the other night. Who is it? Why did they look for me? What do they want to tell me? Why do they think it is necessary to tell me? What can anyone gain from telling me anything? What makes me so special?

My head feels like it is going in circles. Maybe that is the effect that they wanted. Maybe they don't have anything to tell me, they just wanted to push me over the edge so I become a drooling vegetable. If so, it's working.

The last week or so, I've felt closer to her than I have in a long time. I felt we were on the road to recovery. But these last few days, I find it hard to get my mind off of that fucking message. It's been so bad that I think she feels that I am mad at her, because I've been so preoccupied. Some how I need to push it away, get it out of my mind, get past it. I need to put all of my energy into rebuilding our relationship.

Think positive.

tomorrow WILL be a better day.