Snow Threat & A Letter

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People are yet again going crazy over the threat of a little snow. I had the unpleasant experience of trying to get gas on the way to work tonight. It really sucked. There were tons of people there, and it was after 10pm. Why aren't these people home in bed where they belong at that time of night. I had to drive like a mad man all the way in, to get here on time.

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I wrote Deb a letter this morning and left it on the laptop for her to read. I told her how much it hurt to see her looking for him again. I also told her that I am not the one dwelling on the past, she is. That was a big realization for me. I was really starting to beat myself up because I thought that I was having trouble "letting go". But the other night I was thinking about it and it hit me like a frying pan to the head. I didn't do anything. So why should I be killing myself over it. She is the one who looked him up, not me. I was just unlucky enough to find it.

I left her a letter instead of talking to her about it for a few reasons. Firstly, every time we talk, lately, we end up sounding like a couple of skipping records. Saying the same things over and over to each other, and never really getting anywhere. Secondly, I didn't want anything that I said to be taken out of context or otherwise misunderstood. And lastly, I don't want to have a fight over something I did or didn't say. When it is in writing, you can always go back and look at it again, leaving nothing to speculation.

The last thing I told her in the letter was that I really want to talk about it, but it has to be a conversation, not a confrontation. I don't want to argue, but at the same time I can't sit idly by while she is looking up her ex lover.