Back to basics...
I have come to the realization, today, that I have lost touch with the reason I started this blog. Originally, this was a place for me to vent my feelings. A way to get my thoughts out of my head and down on paper. Looking back at the last few weeks of posts, I see that I have not been true to myself. Due to this, I think, I have been suffering from a build up of unexpressed emotions. I was more concerned with "appearing" happy than actually writing my true feelings. For the sake of my mental health, I need to get back to basics, so to speak.
Lately I have been overcome with the feeling that nothing is real. Often times, she would whistle and call me sexy as I walk by, but it felt like she was reading a script. This has been puzzling me for some time. I think the reason is because there is no passion in her eyes anymore, and I don't know how to get it back. Every time I try to "turn her on" all I do is find another way to turn her off.
Friday night we went on a date. Just the two of us. We sent the kids over to Gina's house and went out for a nice dinner. I thought the date went well, but when we got home, she just rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm not trying to say that she is at fault, or did anything wrong, because the fact of the matter is that if she would rather sleep it's my fault. I'm the one who failed. I should have been more romantic. I should have been funnier. I should have been more fun to be with. If the passion is gone, I'm the one to blame.
posted by Anonymous @ 1:05 AM
3 comments
3 Comments:
Hey it's Stacy. You are WAY to hard on yourself. How do you know that she rolled over from "bordem"?? She might have had a blast, and if drinking was involoved then maybe the alcohol made her tired. And i know from experiance that if your not use to going "out", it tends to tired a women out. Don't be so hard on yourself. your taking the right steps to help things along. Remind yourself every day that you are a great person, awsome father, and above all, tell yourself that you love yourself. IF you don't love yourself, how can anyone else love you? It's a tough time i know, you both will get through it and be stronger for it.
okay mike, let me tell you a huge word of wisdom-- women dream of sleeping. i am a mother of 4 and when we have few to no kids home sleep is so much better than sex or any other activity available. not because i don't love my husband but because i am so exhausted and need that alone time with no one touching me. sometimes, i find it more satisfying to have mid-day or early evening sex. then i am not is the sleeping mode. it is very romantic.
my other unsolicited piece of advice would be to remember to be romantic. not just flowers and mushy crap but the kind words and the little things you know she loves. nothing is sexier than a man vaccuuming the living room or doing a load of the kids' laundry. always remember, yesterdays good morning kiss goodbye is tonites sex! words to live by when you are talking about a women.
oh yeah, and even though you don't perceive the passion in her eyes does not mean that she is not making a real effort. ignore what you think she means and be a part of the silly teasing and gesturing. pretty soon you both will not find yourself 'working' at it but rather you will be enjoying each other.
hope that helps!
Hi, Stranger! I'm back...sounds like these ladies have given you some excellent advice already - I know exactly what you mean about "faking it". I felt that way when we would try to spice things up. That's a toughy. I think Twyla has a great point, though, about just doing the little things. I'm not sure that guys grasp the concept, but that's really what we women need & appreciate!
I don't think there's anything wrong with writing about silly things or being goofy, and I think it's made you feel better. That doesn't mean that you can't still post about your true feelings when you're having a bad day. In my observation, humor tends to come from a place of pain more often than not. It's a defense mechanism, or as I prefer to look at it, a way to make something positive out of a negative situation. So, I for one vote for more silly posts, right along with these posts, when you need to reach out to people, vent, and get advice (like it or not)! Hope you had a nice Thanksgiving!
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