Wondering...
Today, I think, I will write a list of things that I wonder about. In no real order other than the way they pop into my head.
- For years now, car company's and oil company's have been telling us that 80-90% of the wear in a car's engine occurs when you first start it. What I'm wondering is, why haven't they fixed it yet. It's not that hard to do. All you need is an electric oil pump, that would run before you start the engine. That way there will be enough oil pressure to support the hydrodynamic wedge between the moving parts. Problem solved! Well, then the cars would last too long, and people would not be buying new ones until they get up to like 500,000 miles instead of 100,000 miles.
- You know, earlier in the day, I had about 10 things that I was going to list here. What I'm wondering right this minute is, where the hell did all my ideas go? It's like the second I sat down here to write, they all disappeared. O-well. What can you do. I'll write them down next time so I'll be able to remember them.
I'm really looking forward to this weekend. To finally have some time with Deb, is what I've been needing, I think. Lately I've been feeling disconnected, for some reason. I can't put my finger on it exactly, but I feel like nothing is real. None of my emotions, any way. I feel like my life is a movie and I am sitting in the audience watching. Getting sucked in a little (like a good movie will) but all the while still feeling separated from it. Does that make any sense at all? Maybe I'm on the fringe of insanity.
posted by Broken Hubby @ 3:05 AM
1 comments
1 Comments:
My diagnosis? Definitely insane! But I think all of us have felt that way before. The way I used to think of it, though, is like I was putting on a play and acting out the part & the people on my life were just "extras". I know, a little egotistical, so who's the crazy one here? Anyway, I think you're doing what you need to do to get through (and hopefully beyond) this. If you have to go on auto-pilot to regroup, that's ok. You sound a lot better than when I "met" you, and I think it's because you're not completely obsessed with Deb & the past like you were, but starting to think about yourself and the world around you. It's obvious that you still love your wife, but I think it's healthier for both of you that you're not consuming your life with the past & what the future holds for you two. Time really does heal everything, and this will work itself out. You may as well ride it out & enjoy the little things while the kinks work themselves out - like this weekend! Have you given any thought to doing something special for her?
Post a Comment
<< Home